Wondering on Wednesday

So, Julia, what about those Tuesday reviews? Haven’t seen any in a couple of weeks…

What about ’em?

No, really, here’s the deal. My anxiety has woven its tricky little tendrils into every part of my brain, and I currently have an attention span about the size typically attributed to a goldfish. I can read half of a chapter, a whole one if I’m lucky, before I have to get up, get a drink, go to the bathroom, check my e-mail, answer my son’s questions about whatever his four-year-old mind is thinking of, contemplate the meaning of life, and wonder what’s for dinner before I can begin another one–but not before considering a blog post or two.

Some of this sounds like I just don’t know how to sit still, sure. But really, I do. I have no problem reading a whole book in one day, one afternoon even. But when I start to get this feeling of needing to do “all the things” at all moments, there’s a particular energy that goes with it that I can only describe as being anxious, and it’s hell, because it keeps me from doing any of the things.

Really, in the past couple of years, I’ve come a long way in dealing with my anxiety and the effect it has on me. But sometimes, even with all my progress, it finds a way to slip in and disturb my focus in astonishing amounts, and this tweet pretty much sums it up.

Isn’t it funny how being stressed out/anxious shatters the ability to focus, making it difficult to eliminate the source?

— Julia (@byersj09) September 22, 2015

But no worries! I can feel myself coming back around, moving slowly but surely through the things I need to, so I can get on to the things I want to.