Wondering on Wednesday

So, Julia, what about those Tuesday reviews? Haven’t seen any in a couple of weeks…

What about ’em?

No, really, here’s the deal. My anxiety has woven its tricky little tendrils into every part of my brain, and I currently have an attention span about the size typically attributed to a goldfish. I can read half of a chapter, a whole one if I’m lucky, before I have to get up, get a drink, go to the bathroom, check my e-mail, answer my son’s questions about whatever his four-year-old mind is thinking of, contemplate the meaning of life, and wonder what’s for dinner before I can begin another one–but not before considering a blog post or two.

Some of this sounds like I just don’t know how to sit still, sure. But really, I do. I have no problem reading a whole book in one day, one afternoon even. But when I start to get this feeling of needing to do “all the things” at all moments, there’s a particular energy that goes with it that I can only describe as being anxious, and it’s hell, because it keeps me from doing any of the things.

Really, in the past couple of years, I’ve come a long way in dealing with my anxiety and the effect it has on me. But sometimes, even with all my progress, it finds a way to slip in and disturb my focus in astonishing amounts, and this tweet pretty much sums it up.

But no worries! I can feel myself coming back around, moving slowly but surely through the things I need to, so I can get on to the things I want to.

2 thoughts on “Wondering on Wednesday

  1. Deep breaths. Take your time. Adjust to suit your life.

    Anxiety is a pain in the ass. I hate the disruption it brings to our lives. And you’re right, it has a way of stealing our focus hindering us from reigning it in.

    It is good to hear that you are gaining the upper hand. If the weekly review is adding undue stress, perhaps a review every other week could help for a while?

    Enjoyed the post! May strength of mind and focus be yours!

    Liked by 1 person

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